What it actually measures
Concentration, diversification and overlap, holding quality and timing, fees and cost drag, and behavioral signals — five findings, each scored out of 20.
RoastMyPortfolio, now on iPhone
Your portfolio, held to
account on iPhone.
Screenshot your brokerage app. Get a 0–100 health score, five findings with the numbers behind them, and a recovery plan. No account, no hype.
On a laptop?
Scan with your iPhone.
First roast freeThen $2.99 per report, paid once. No subscription.
The RoastMyPortfolio app, screen by screen.
These are real screens from the app, not mockups.
OCR reads the positions straight off your screenshot. Nothing to link, no credentials, no manual entry.
Four holdings extracted in 3.1 seconds.
A 0–100 Portfolio Health Score, followed by the reasoning that produced it — not a rating handed down without a reason.
Five findings, each scored out of 20.
Each holding's fee set against a passive baseline, with the annual cost gap named in percent per year.
VOO at 0.03% against a 0.07% baseline.
Four portfolio concepts to research next, drawn from what the report actually found in your holdings.
Structural strengths and blind spots, named separately.
Past roasts persist locally and read offline — long after the server's 24-hour cache has dropped them.
No account, so there is nothing to sign back into.
What the Portfolio Health Score measures.
Nothing leaves your phone
No signup, no email, no broker login. Analytics are opt-in and off by default, and your history is stored on the device.
One-time, not a subscription
$2.99 unlocks a full report. There is no recurring charge, no upsell, and no account to cancel.
Frequently asked questions.
Is the iPhone app really free?
Your first roast is free. After that, a single one-time $2.99 unlocks each full report — no subscription, no recurring charge, no account.
How does the 0–100 Portfolio Health Score work?
Five findings — concentration, diversification & overlap, holding quality & timing, fees & cost drag, and behavioral signals — each scored out of 20, summed to one 0–100 number.
Can I upload a screenshot of my brokerage app?
Yes. OCR reads the screenshot and extracts your positions, so there's no manual data entry. You can also paste your holdings directly.
Do I need to create an account?
No signup and no email required. Your analysis history is saved on your device and reads offline.
Is my data private?
Yes. Analytics are opt-in and off by default, and are not linked to you. There is no tracking. See the privacy policy for details.
Why does the iPhone app cost less than the web roast?
The iPhone app is a screenshot-first mobile experience with on-device history: your first roast is free, then each full report is a one-time $2.99 App Store purchase. The web roast is a browser-based Five Blades report with its own $4.99 one-time unlock. Neither product has a subscription.
Get the Portfolio Health Score app.
Your first roast is free. After that a full report is $2.99, paid once — it’s already written by the time you unlock it.
On a laptop?
Scan with your iPhone.
First roast freeNo subscription, no upsell, no account.