Screenshot in, report out
OCR reads your brokerage screenshot — no manual entry, no account, no broker login.
Your portfolio,
held to account.
ROASTMYPORTFOLIO — NOW ON iPHONE
Snap a screenshot of your brokerage app and The Banker — a retired Wall Street analyst with three decades on the desk — reads it cold. A 0–100 Portfolio Health Score, five scored findings, and a Recovery Plan. No mockery, no hype. Just the numbers.
Download on theApp Store
FIRST ROAST FREE · $2.99 ONE-TIME · NO SUBSCRIPTION
NO SIGNUPSCREENSHOT INON-DEVICE HISTORY
Roast Reader
📈 The Banker61Portfolio Health Score
High-Conviction Tech Concentration
Concentration16/20
AAPL + NVDA = 54% of book
Diversification & Overlap13/20
SPY ≈ VOO ≈ IVV
Holding Quality & Timing15/20
Chasing momentum
Fees & Cost Drag10/20
0.41% vs 0.07% baseline
Behavioral & Structural18/20
Steady hands, few trades
Recovery Plan4 steps · unlock with one tap
WHAT YOU GET
0–100 Portfolio Health Score
One headline number, summed from five findings scored out of 20 each.
Five scored findings
Concentration, diversification & overlap, holding quality & timing, fees & cost drag, behavioral signals.
Fees, quantified
Names the exact annual expense-ratio gap vs. a 0.07% passive baseline, compounding over time.
History on your device
Roasts persist locally and read offline — past the backend's 24-hour cache.
One-time, not a subscription
$2.99 unlocks the full report. No recurring charge, ever.
HOW IT WORKS
01
SNAP OR PASTE
Screenshot your brokerage app, or type your holdings. OCR does the rest.
02
THE BANKER READS IT
A retired Wall Street analyst reads it cold — numeric, unsparing, evidence-led.
03
SCORE + RECOVERY PLAN
A 0–100 score, five findings, and four concrete portfolio concepts to research next.
// PRICING
Your first roast is free. After that, $2.99 — once per report.
No subscription, no upsell, no account. Pay once, unlock the full report instantly — it’s already written, so there’s nothing left to wait for.
Download on theApp StoreQUESTIONS
Is the iPhone app really free?
Your first roast is free. After that, a single one-time $2.99 unlocks each full report — no subscription, no recurring charge, no account.
How does the 0–100 Portfolio Health Score work?
Five findings — concentration, diversification & overlap, holding quality & timing, fees & cost drag, and behavioral signals — each scored out of 20, summed to one 0–100 number.
Can I upload a screenshot of my brokerage app?
Yes. OCR reads the screenshot and extracts your positions, so there's no manual data entry. You can also paste your holdings directly.
Do I need to create an account?
No signup and no email required. Your analysis history is saved on your device and reads offline.
Is my data private?
Yes. Analytics are opt-in and off by default, and are not linked to you. There is no tracking. See the privacy policy for details.
// GET THE APP
The analyst is in your pocket.
Download on the App Store. Your first roast is free.
Download on theApp Store